Tranmerekat on Tour: A Lard Days Night

Horsham FC away to Eastbourne United AFC in the Sussex Senior Cup Quarter Final at the Oval

The Hornets are away to the Whites in a bid to be runners up to Brighton in the Sussex Cup. (Stop that). Brighton have been knocked out by Steyning anyway. Up for grabs is a place in the Semi-Final against either Burgess Hill or Steyning. The Green and Yellow are 2 league above the whites but this is Cup football in proper football weather on a very cold and windy Tuesday night in East Sussex. It's +2C but the wind child is making it -6C. The shock of the night is the addition of a certain Mr. Tuck in the starting line up in his usual No.4. Thought he had a cold weather clause in his contract so he wouldn't have to play on cold winter nights😲. We recognise a few the names of the Hornets players.

The Hornets start well and are getting lots of possession. The imaginatively named Whites were struggling to get out . They were being forced to play long balls by the Green and Yellow press but the wind was blowing it back at them and the keeper couldn't kick as far as the halfway line. The visitors were wasteful with a few chances but the wind was causing them problems too and it's not the best pitch for good passing play. The waited until we were completely frozen to give us anything to celebrate on 26 ⚽ when James Hammond heads in a cross goal header. We are a bit warmer now. There are some more chances. Dougie gets into the 6 yard box (did he have a SAT NAV failure) and it's either a great low cross or he puts it wide. He gets another chance with a low volley from the edge of the box but it goes just wide. He's getting closer to the target🥅. He could still put a penalty out for a throw-in though. Eastbourne get shot on target but it's easily saved. Reece Meekums nets for the Hornets second on 43 ⚽. Two up at the break and time for the Lardy Army to change ends via the clubhouse to defrost a bit.

One change at the break and Jack Mazzone comes on up front for Horsham. We have to wait until 63 minutes ⚽for the next and important 3rd goal. It's from half time sub Mazzone, who goes on to score again ⚽after a couples of minutes. He has his hattrick inside six minutes⚽. Some substitution that. Has well and truly warmed us up. The Hornets full of confidence now but can't find a 6th. The Lardy army are is good voice too, "Start speading the lard" 🤣. The consolation goal for the Whites comes on 73 when a complete failure of communication at the back leaves the surprised striker with an empty net to tap into. The home fans finally get to warm up a bit now. A few more attempts at a 6th goal are missed and then it's time to go home and get out of the wind.

That was a great game largely because there were lots of goals to cheer and hence getting a chance to warm up celebrating. I hope the goal for the opposition came in time for their fans to hold off the frostbite setting in. The Hornets were a bit wasteful in front of goal and maybe should have scored more but 5 a was plenty to get the job done. The Whites consolation was only their 2nd shot on target so it was never really in doubt especially after the important 3rd goal went the Visitors way. It was one of the coldest we have done for a while, especially out in the wind but was well worthwhile. Need to get to a few more Horsham games as they are good to watch.

POTM: Almost goes to Tuck but as he missed his changes it goes to Jack Mazzone who turned an ordinary game into an exciting one. A six minute hattrick in the conditions against a good opponent was something special to watch..

There isn't much to say about the officials except to thank them for braving the freezing wind🥶. And congratulate the linespeople for not freezing solid🧊. Well done.

The Scranometer needed a couple of hot chocolates to defrost. 7/10.

See you at the Dockers next week if we ever get warm.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾