Tranmerekat on Tour: Breaking Up Is Lard To Do

Horsham FC face Steyning Town Community FC in the Sussex Community Shield at Culver Road

Steyning Town Community Football Club crest

The Hornets 🐝 as Sussex Challenge Cup champions 🏆 take on the Barrowmen who are SCFL champions 🏆 at the Sussex FA headquarters and the home of the Lancers. Tonight is in aid of the NSPCC so hoping they raise a load of money. We have raffle tickets so hoping for something tasty to eat or drink. The predicted storms haven't arrived so it's a lovely warm summer evening at the moment, just perfect for a spot of football. Dougie isn't in the squad tonight as he has left the Hornets to return to the Rocks. There are some familiar faces among the Barrowmen. Newhaven hero Alfie Rogers is starting as the 10 and Rob Malila is at 7 on the left wing. There are a couple of new faces in the Hornets notably our favourite Lewes player Ola Ogunwamide who is on the bench tonight. Up front in the 9, but wearing 19, in Chris Dickson who arrives from the Chatham Town team who beat the Hornets on penalties in their play-off semi-final heartbreak. Hope it's a good scrap from the Barrowmen against the quality we know the Hornets have. Off we go.

The Hornets start well and force the Barrowmen's keeper Nathan Stoomberg-Clarke, NSC, into a double save on 9 minutes keeping out shots from Chris D and Charlie. The Hornets soon get on the scoresheet on 13 ⚽ when the no. 10, Daniel Ajakaiye, blasts in from just inside the box. It's nearly 2 on 17 but NSC makes another great save. He is beaten again on 38 when Dan controls a dropping ball in the box while being pressed by 2 defenders. He somehow gets himself and the ball clear and smashes it home again for his brace ⚽. 2-0 to the Yellow and Green at the break. They have been completely dominant.

We don't win anything in the half time raffle but do manage to buy some nice NSPCC pin badges. You can find them and details about Childline here.

The only change we can see at the break is that Alfie has been subbed off. The important 3rd goal when it comes, unsurprisingly, goes to the Hornets. Dan's hattrick is denied by a great NSC save only for the ball to end up which Charlie Meekins who makes it count on 54 ⚽. Daniel won't get his hattrick today as he is subbed of on 57. In his place is our favourite, now ex. Lewes player, Ola. Whoop, whoop. Expecting some flying play on the right wing. Some great passing in the build-up allows Chris Dickson to tap home on 73 ⚽. Steyning haven't given up but are struggling to put together any decent possession. They eventually get their first corner but it comes to nothing. The Horsham manager is making sure they don't back off. "Keep the ball", "Don't slow down". They keep the pace up but are still pushing forward and losing the ball. Some of the decision making in the final 3rd is poor for such a good team. Trying too hard to score another instead of passing and keeping possession. Ole gets it right and is tackled just as he gets to the edge of the box. It looks tight but the ref has a good view and points to the spot. The keeper flicks the ball out of the Hornets play's hands and walks off with it. Trying to put the penalty taker off but it's a different player who steps up to take it so he made himself look like a bit of an idiot for nothing. Captain James Hammond steps up to make it 5-0 on 87 ⚽. It's all over at Culver Road and it's a convincing win for the men in Yellow and Green.

It was a great game for the Hornets fans and the Lardy Army. Not so good for the Barrowmen who struggled to have any real presence in the game. Lewis Carrey, the Horsham keeper was hardly called into action at all and had no saves to make. Some more silverware for the Hornets trophy cabinet. We would have liked to see more of Alfie and it was a shame he was subbed so early as it looked like he was having a good game or as good as any of them. Things certainly didn't improve without him. Hope he get a good run this season as he can easily clock up a good number of goals. We weren't sure if the Steyning manager kept shouting at his defender Charlie Weller or singing his favourite song from Grease, 🎶Well-a well-a well-a huh, Tell me more, tell me more 🎶, hoping we might all join in 🤷🏻‍♂️. Also got a bit confused about whether the Horsham manager was shouting at his captain, James Hammond or ordering a late avocado 🥑on toast breakfast, "Avo, Avo" 🤷🏻‍♂️. We'll never know or hope not to. Finally, it was nice to see some Hornets 🐝 as there is a complete absence of bees and wasps on the Sussex coast this summer. Sad to see or not see.

POTM: Some great performances on display but it goes to Daniel Ajakaiye, again, for the first couple of goals and especially the skill on show to get the second against the odds. A brace of POTMs to go with his brace of goals. 🏅🏅

That's it for our time with the Hornets as we follow Dougie back to Bognor. I'd rather be a Rock than a Rebel is how I think it goes. Going to miss the Lardy army and their great range of songs relating to high-fat spread. Thanks. It was fun.

The ref had a great game and was even very funny at times. Certainly kept the game flowing and good natured.

The Scran'O'meter loved the sausages of the veggie hotdog 🌭 but the roll must have been last season's as it crumbled to dust before we could eat it. 6/10.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾