Breaking Up Is Lard To Do

Horsham FC face Steyning Town Community FC in the Sussex Community Shield at Culver Road

The Hornets 🐝 as Sussex Challenge Cup champions 🏆 take on the Barrowmen who are SCFL champions 🏆 at the Sussex FA headquarters and the home of the Lancers. Tonight is in aid of the NSPCC so hoping they raise a load of money. We have raffle tickets so hoping for something tasty to eat or drink. The predicted storms haven't arrived so it's a lovely warm summer evening at the moment, just perfect for a spot of football. Dougie isn't in the squad tonight as he has left the Hornets to return to the Rocks. There are some familiar faces among the Barrowmen. Newhaven hero Alfie Rogers is starting as the 10 and Rob Malila is at 7 on the left wing. There are a couple of new faces in the Hornets notably our favourite Lewes player Ola Ogunwamide who is on the bench tonight. Up front in the 9, but wearing 19, in Chris Dickson who arrives from the Chatham Town team who beat the Hornets on penalties in their play-off semi-final heartbreak. Hope it's a good scrap from the Barrowmen against the quality we know the Hornets have. Off we go.

The Hornets start well and force the Barrowmen's keeper Nathan Stoomberg-Clarke, NSC, into a double save on 9 minutes keeping out shots from Chris D and Charlie. The Hornets soon get on the scoresheet on 13 ⚽ when the no. 10, Daniel Ajakaiye, blasts in from just inside the box. It's nearly 2 on 17 but NSC makes another great save. He is beaten again on 38 when Dan controls a dropping ball in the box while being pressed by 2 defenders. He somehow gets himself and the ball clear and smashes it home again for his brace ⚽. 2-0 to the Yellow and Green at the break. They have been completely dominant.

We don't win anything in the half time raffle but do manage to buy some nice NSPCC pin badges.  You can find them and details about Childline here.

The only change we can see at the break is that Alfie has been subbed off. The important 3rd goal when it comes, unsurprisingly, goes to the Hornets. Dan's hattrick is denied by a great NSC save only for the ball to end up which Charlie Meekins who makes it count on 54 ⚽. Daniel won't get his hattrick today as he is subbed of on 57. In his place is our favourite, now ex. Lewes player, Ola. Whoop, whoop. Expecting some flying play on the right wing.  Some great passing in the build-up allows Chris Dickson to tap home on 73 ⚽. Steyning haven't given up but are struggling to put together any decent possession. They eventually get their first corner but it comes to nothing. The Horsham manager is making sure they don't back off. "Keep the ball", "Don't slow down". They keep the pace up but are still pushing forward and losing the ball. Some of the decision making in the final 3rd is poor for such a good team. Trying too hard to score another instead of passing and keeping possession. Ole gets it right and is tackled just as he gets to the edge of the box. It looks tight but the ref has a good view and points to the spot. The keeper flicks the ball out of the Hornets play's hands and walks off with it. Trying to put the penalty taker off but it's a different player who steps up to take it so he made himself look like a bit of an idiot for nothing.   Captain James Hammond steps up to make it 5-0 on 87 ⚽. It's all over at Culver Road and it's a convincing win for the men in Yellow and Green.

It was a great game for the Hornets fans and the Lardy Army. Not so good for the Barrowmen who struggled to have any real presence in the game. Lewis Carrey, the Horsham keeper was hardly called into action at all and had no saves to make. Some more silverware for the Hornets trophy cabinet. We would have liked to see more of Alfie and it was a shame he was subbed so early as it looked like he was having a good game or as good as any of them. Things certainly didn't improve without him. Hope he get a good run this season as he can easily clock up a good number of goals. We weren't sure if the Steyning manager kept shouting at his defender Charlie Weller or singing his favourite song from Grease, 🎶Well-a well-a well-a huh, Tell me more, tell me more 🎶, hoping we might all join in 🤷🏻‍♂️. Also got a bit confused about whether the Horsham manager was shouting at his captain, James Hammond or ordering a late avocado 🥑on toast breakfast, "Avo, Avo" 🤷🏻‍♂️. We'll never know or hope not to.  Finally, it was nice to see some Hornets 🐝 as there is a complete absence of bees and wasps on the Sussex coast this summer. Sad to see or not see. 

POTM:   Some great performances on display but it goes to Daniel Ajakaiye, again, for the first couple of goals and especially the skill on show to get the second against the odds.  A brace of POTMs to go with his brace of goals. 🏅🏅

That's it for our time with the Hornets as we follow Dougie back to Bognor. I'd rather be a Rock than a Rebel is how I think it goes. Going to miss the Lardy army and their great range of songs relating to high-fat spread. Thanks. It was fun.

The ref had a great game and was even very funny at times.  Certainly kept the game flowing and good natured.

The Scran'O'meter loved the sausages of the veggie hotdog 🌭 but the roll must have been last season's as it crumbled to dust before we could eat it.  6/10.  

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Corner at Culver Road

The Home of the Sussex FA

The Sussex Community Shield up for grabs

Horsham the Winners

Some good players in there

5 Scorers of Summer

Newhaven FC v Westfield FC (Sussex) in a pre-season friendly at Fort Road

The Dockers⚓ host the Westies 🧭 from the Mid-Sussex League Premier Division in the last of the pre-season friendlies. This fixture last season ended 6 -0 to the Dockers. A repeat of that result tonight would be nice. A lot of new faces tonight. So many it's almost a B side. Jake is on the bench with his stand in between the posts. We have some actual centre halves in the defence tonight in the shape of Max and Tom. Left back wearing 3 is the player we are calling trialist C. Luca is right back. He is normally further forward, but it will be interesting to see how he gets on at the back. Bet he does a good job. In the middle is a big tall player wearing number 4. Will call him trialist D. On the left-wing is new signing Charlie with Ezra Reog opposite on the right. The number 10 role is filled by new signing Mo. Up front with him is a number 9 that we think is Jake Robinson. The final one in the Robinson trio. It looks a bit make shift, but the attacking momentum seems to be holding up this season despite loads of changes being made. It was a bit of a weakness last season that the cohesion was lost when the changes started. Here's to hoping that it is fixed this season. There have been some great editions to our squad and guess there are some more to come yet. Let's see how it goes in the last one that's doesn't count.

The kick off is delayed and the match starts about 8 minutes late. The Dockers look good from the start. It takes 10 minutes to score when a Shonks shot is blocked but Mo is on hand to put the 3 rebound into the back of the net ⚽. Good start. The Westie's keeper comes for a long ball but the ball evades him. Dockers No. 9 Jake Robbo helps himself to the loose ball, rounds the embarrassed keeper and puts the ball in the back of the net on 16⚽. 2-0. Great start. The Westies get a lucky goal back on 37 when the is a scramble in the Dockers box. A deflection sends the ball spinning high in the air. As it drops almost on the goal line, a Westie player gets in between the keeper and the ball so he can't catch it as it bounces into the net. Bugger. 2-1. The visitors settle a bit now and have a good spell. They maintain the pressure on the Dockers but are unable to break down the defence again. The Docters are soon back in attack mode and are pressing again. Ezra is unlucky not to get a goal as his first shot is blocked, he collects the rebound but his second shot is saved. The next goal will be big one for the scoreline. It's the Dockers who score next with their third goal coming from a through pass to Jake who is on-side for once. He nutmegs the keeper to make it 3-1 on 41 ⚽. A clear lead at halftime.

There are some changes for the restart as Jake is replaced by youngster Koby Farrell who is 20 years his junior at just 17. He is a menace for the defence popping up everywhere. Has good feet on the ball too. The Dockers get a corner on 53. It's taken short, Vickers chips it over that top and Trialist D is waiting at 6 yards out at the far post to volley it home ⚽. The ferry finally arrives. It's 1 minutes late this time 😠. The Reds fifth and final goal comes on 68 when Koby dispossesses the keeper outside the box, passes it to Shonk to finish ⚽. There are more chances with Reedy going just over and Koby goes just wide. It's been more even possession but he Dockers have a good second half despite so many changes.

The last friendly and another convincing win for the Reds. The best Westfield last pre-season but the other games were hit and miss. Hoping the form carries into the season. There have been some exciting new signings and they are bedding in nicely. Mo and Koby looking like they with be favourites soon. Hope Jakes stays as he has great quality having played most of his career higher up.

POTM: 5 different goal scorers today but it goes to Mo for getting the scoring started 🏅. Two in two now for the new boy.

👮🏻‍♂️ This is getting boring now 😴. When are we going to get a rubbish or opinionated ref that we can have a good moan about 🤷🏻‍♂️.

⛴Ferry watch. Late again but not according to the time table. Time for a cross letter to the Captain of the Cote d'Albatre. Some days it's 8:30, some 9:00 and today it's 9:15. Grr.

That's it for non-league pre-season. It get's real on Saturday, might be there.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Almost Sunny

Downhill from here

Late ferry

OWLing at the Moon

Newhaven FC v Arundel FC in a pre-season friendly at Mill Road

The Dockers ⚓ head to West Sussex the home of the Mullets of SCFL Division 1. There is a great view of the castle from the ground. The pitch is level but a bit uneven and the grass is quite long and there are clover flowers on it. The Dockers sometimes struggle a bit on slower pitches so this will be a good test for them today. The lineup is different again. Jake is still in goal. There are no centre halves on the pitch as Billy and Bailey are at the heart of the defence, Reedy is on the right and new boy Josh on the left. We think it's Joe Summerbell in the middle with Warwick. Luka is on the left-wing, and there is a new face on the right. Jack Shonk is in the 10 with Lee up front. The opposition are a very mixed bunch height wise but have a height advantage over the Dockers. They also have some odd gym programmes. Fortunately, none of them have haircuts to match their team nickname. It's a lovely setting below the castle and the sun is trying to come out. Let's go.

The Dockers take a while to settle. Not helped by a dreadful back pass from Josh to Jake that is nowhere near powerful enough The Mullets striker gratefully accepts the offer and puts into the net on 15. It's a very slow pitch and the Dockers are being caught out in the strength of their passing. They need to get up to speed quickly. The Mullets keeper is well built but has great reflexes. He makes some great saves otherwise the Dockers would be a good few goals ahead. Not sure how he kept a clean sheet there but he did and the hosts go into the break a goal ahead.

The big news after the break is that the Mullets keeper has changed. Hope the replacement, seen here looking very confident in all fluorescent pink, isn't as good as the guy he replaced. The second half will be disrupted by subs but will try to keep track of it. Reedy is replaced by Max. Cal comes on at right wing, his best side. The Dockers equalise on 60 when Lee scores from a cross⚽. The score line stays level until 80 when Cal curls it into the far top corner from the corner of the box with his left foot like he does ⚽. The Mullets have not had a decent chance since they were gifted a goal on 15. The Dockers only have a slim lead at 90 but it's comfortable. It stays that way until injury time. Mo has replaces Shonk in the 10 behind Lee. They soon swap over and Mo goes up front as Shonk comes back on to play behind him. A short corner from Warwick finds its way back to him and his low cross is turned in at the near post by Shonk on 90 + 2 ⚽. Shonk is in action again as his shot from inside the box is blocked. Mo pops up to slot home the rebound on 90 + 3 ⚽. All over and 41 after a much better second half.

A good recovery from the Dockers, with some partnerships starting to improve. Also some miles in the legs across the squad but there will be some sore legs after running on that long grass. The change of keeper may have helped but the big difference in quality between the sides and it would have shone through eventually. To grab two late goals is good and for Mo to get on the score sheet, you can see how popular he is in the squad already. We had a great time in Arundel seeing the sights. We completed the Big Hoot Owl Trail getting all 8 🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉in town and got a new owl badge too. https://thebighoot.co.uk/

The ref had a good game making sensible decisions and the line keeping of ok too. It's always a bit error prone at this level due to the speed differential between the players and the officials but as long as it's consistent as it seemed to be today than that’s good enough. It's been all good refereeing lately and it's getting a bit boring. When are we going to get a pompous idiot to moan about. Bet it's soon 😑.

The Scran'O'meter was made up with the Carrot Cakes 🍰 from that Mill Road Café and the Cheese Pastie 🥟 from the Moathouse Bakery. Yum. Thanks.

The final pre-season game is on Tuesday and the season starts on Saturday. The Dockers seem ready to go.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

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Nice view of the castle

Arrived at Mill Road

Big Castle

Shall we go to the castle

Big Church too

"Steadfast in ancient virtue"

;

New firiend

Found all 8 owls

This Charman Man

Newhaven FC v Seaford Town FC in the Steve Charman Cup at Ford Road

The Dockers play host to neighbours ,the Badgers, in the annual friendly cup. This finished 3-2 to the Badgers last year in the game that was decided by the off side trap. It's a moody sky at Fort Road and the rain's just holding off. Hope it stays that way. There are some more new faces in the starting 11 and even more on the bench. Jake is in goal, with Tom Vickers and Max as centre half and Bailie and Billy as fullbacks. Ryan Warwick is in the midfield with a new face. Cal is on the right and another new player on the left. Lee is upfront. Can't see Herbie in the Badger's lineup. Robbie Keith was in the ground as he recovers from injury. Looking forward to his return.

The Dockers are attacking the Skate Park End. The 2 sides of feeling each other out to start with. The visitors get a couple of good chances and then the Dockers start to get a grip on the game. Cal breaks clear down the right fires the ball across to a charging Robbo who taps it home on 25 ⚽. The chances keep coming as the Dockers are camped out in the Badger's half. We have to wait until the last minute for next goal. It comes from a Dockers corner on the left. Warwick takes it short to Vickers who fires it across the touchline, and it's tapped home at the nearest by Jack Shonk⚽. It's well into injury time and Cal makes another great run. Crosses to Lee again, who taps home for his brace⚽. 3 - 0 to the Dockers at half time.

The second half sees some changes with additional Reedy at right back. Tom Vickers seems to be playing as a number 10 times, he's so far forward. There are loads more changes Billy comes back on to play central defence. Him, Max and the number 5 ate the only remain members of the starting 11 left on the pitch. Jakes replacement is doing a good job. The midfield and strikers are playing well, but it's just not quite clicking. Not surprising with a lack of familiarity and practice. But that's what pre-season is for. There are a good few of offsides as the timing is out a little bit not helped by some howlers from the lino. Some good defending by both sides keeps the second half goalless. Three - nil to the Dockers. The Steve Charman Cup 🏆returns to Fort Road.

Another good win for the boys in red. Never looked like losing it. A sheer number of new players unsettled it in a big way, but only in terms of quality. The attacking momentum never dropped off. Bodes well for the season to come when the squad is fully available and settled in. Can't wait! There was a big game for the Lionesses tonight that finished just before the kick off here. it was 0-0 against Sweden in Gothenburg, which means the Lionesses will now automatically qualify for Euro 2025. And France did lose to the ROI 3-1. Up the girls in green, see you in Switzerland.

POTM: Goes to Robbo who was in great form 🏅. Making massive amounts of running and scoring 2 goals as well. A real thorn in the side of the visitors all night.

The Scran'O'meter went home in a sulk 😭as there was no hot chocolate available 🤷🏻‍♂️.

This week's guest referee was Roberto De Zerbi. It was nice of Olympique de Marseille to give him the night off to support grass root football in Sussex. Shame he didn't do a bit more of that when he worked in Sussex. He had a very good game though. The lino at the Surf'n'Skate end had a bit of a nightmare second half, but that possibly balanced out with the decisions we've got in our favour down the other end in the first half.

See you in sunny 😎 West Sussex on Saturday.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Play is underway

Nice down by the river

You are like a 'Harry Kane'

England Women host Republic of Ireland Women in a Euro 2025 Qualifier at Carrow Road

The Lionesses are in Norfolk at the home of the Canaries to take on the Girls in Green, Na Cailini I Ingles, in the fifth of six Euro Qualifiers. They need to win tonight and another on Tuesday against Sweden to guarantee a place in Euros in Switzerland next summer. Sweden are away to France tonight. The result of that is important for England so we'll keep an eye on that as it impacts qualification from the group. Whatever happens in France, England need a win tonight. And a goal or 3 would help their goal difference which might yet be important. Hannah is in goal getting the call up over Mary and Khiara. The defence is unusual with Alex and Leah in the middle. Jess Carter is on the left and Maya gets a first start on the right. Hope Maya does herself proud. Kiera and Georgia are the usual places in the middle. There's no Fran in the squad as she is unwell so Jess Park is in the number 10 role. It's the usual front 3 of Lessi, Hempo and Mead. Both Lauren James and Lotta left the squad due to injury. The Republic of Ireland have Courtney Brosnan in goal. There's no sign of Katie McCabe as she is suspended. Oops, can't imaging how that happened 😜. Long throw specialist, Megan Campbell is on the bench thankfully. It's very wet with constant drizzle as the wheelie bins of fire spit flames and National Anthems play.

The Lionesses are in control from the off keeping the ball in the Republic of Ireland half. Lessi runs onto a a great little through pass from Mead, rounds Courtney Brosnan and taps home on 5 minutes⚽. They press for another goal but Brosnan is having a good game and makes some great saves. A the half progresses, the pressure gradually fades and the ball is being passed around for the sake of it.  The Greens gain a bit of a foothold but England are defending well.  There are a few half chances and Jess Park makes some good runs that come to nothing. Serena will be cross at the lack of efficiency early on as the half ends with just a single goal lead.

Jess Carter makes way for Niamh Charles and Leah is replaced by Millie at the break. It is still raining as a second half starts. The Republic of Ireland bring on Megan Campbell. It's going to be tough in this weather with a long throw, but she's using a towel, Dave Chalinor style. England look tired at times and the passing is sloppy. The play is mostly in the opponent’s half but there isn’t much creativity and the Greens are defending well. Lauren Hemp tries to run into the box with the ball but is wrestled to the ground. Georgia makes no mistake from the spot to make it 2 – 0 to the Lionesses⚽. Anything can happen with long shots in this weather. But we are not exploiting how difficult it is for keepers in the rain. Georgia takes a volley from outside the box but it goes way over the bar not testing Brosnan. Jess Naz comes on and gets a good chance and is proving a real handful to the defence playing in the middle. She moves over to the right-wing when Aggie comes on to replace Hemp. Lauren has put in a great shift as ever. Aggie goes up front and her running and pace start to cause real problems. The Lionesses just can't break down the Green’s defence. It’s well into extra time as the ROI get a throw deep in the England half. A long throw from Campbell finds a green head for the first time, it’s flicked on and drops for the waiting striker to volley home underneath Hannah. It’s gutting to concede with the very last kick of the game.

Three points is what the Lionesses needed tonight so it’s job done. It was a little more nervy than it needed to be especially for the crowd. Sweden lost France tonight so all that is need for 2nd place in the group is a draw on Tuesday. Topping the group is unlikely now as it would need France to lose to ROI in Cork on Tuesday. It's an unusual lineup from Serena tonight. She's either testing out new lineups and combinations or resting some legs for Tuesday. We won’t know until the squad is announced ahead of the game in Gothenburg. The was a good atmosphere at Carrow Road despite the rain, the band were playing and the crowd were singing along, making plenty of noise. The energy of the crowd was not always reflected on the pitch. After great initial pressure, the periods of easy possession playing the ball around were too frequent into long. Serena has a good headache now, with positive additions of Jess Naz, Jess Park and Aggie Beaver Jones giving so much energy in attack. We just need to get through Tuesday without losing and then she'll have some friendlies to experiment with the squad before the Euro Finals in Switzerland next summer. Maya had a good game in defence. She isn’t the fastest getting back from a high position when the team are pressing but has great one on one skills and loves a last gasp sliding tackle. Offers a different option to Lucy. Jess Park really stood out with her running at the defence in the 10 roll and is more effective there than out on the wing. Again, a different option to Tooney if Fran isn’t available. Looking forward to the squad announcement on Tuesday. Lessi was playing deep at times tonight. A bit like Harry Kane does and is often criticised for when coming to get the ball and not being there for the crosses into the box. Neither is a fox in the box and it suits some games and not others. Fingers crossed for Tuesday then hope to get to some home friendlies over the rest of the season.

POTM Jess Park stood out with her energy and running forward with the ball.

Officials were good which needs saying as much as when they are awful.

The Scan’o’meter loved the Retro Pick’n’Mix style sweets🍬.

See you on Tuesday at Fort Road when we look to win back the Steve Charman Cup 🏆in a friendly with Seaford.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

New Ground

We're here

Small stadium

Warming up in here

Flag and Hat

Watching through the rain

Kidnapped by Pirates in Great Yarmouth

Battle and Hum

Newhaven FC host Hastings United in a pre-season friendly at Fort Road

The first game of the season and we are back at Fort Road where the Dockers host the 'U's (no sheep jokes please). Hastings are in the Isthmian Prem where they finished 8th above Lewes and Bognor and were also Sussex Cup finalists where they were soundly beaten by the Hornets. They were bad losers that night at the AMEX and we hope for more of the same tantrums tonight. It's going to be a tough game against the 'U's but it's their first pre-season game and the Dockers have a head start having played Sutton Common on Saturday. There are some familiar faces for the Dockers with Bussy is in goal as ever, Billy is at right back, Cal is right wing, the Ryans are in midfield and Lee is up front. Bailie, Reedy and Luca are on the bench. There are a few new faces playing.  We'll put names to more faces as the season comes along.  Alfie has left us, 😭 and moved to Steyning while Josh Tuck has moved to Lancing.

It's looking a fairly even match at the start. The Dockers take an early lead as new centre half, no. 6, charges up the pitch with the ball. His run only stops when he gets tripped in the box. No. 6 turns out to be Tom Vickers from Eastbourne Town and he takes the pen himself to make it 1-0 to the Dockers on 13 ⚽. New favourite player. Welcome Tom.  More of the same please.  The Dockers are under pressure for the last 20 minutes of the half and the unsurprising equaliser comes on 35. The Docker hold on to keep it to  1-1 at the break.

Not far into the 2nd half and Ryan Warwick is fouled (and some) from behind with a high foot kicking him in the face. It's a nasty one and he has to be subbed off to get patched up. Think we will miss his physicality as we lack that a bit of strength now with Alfie gone. There are loads of subs and it's hard to keep track but at some point, Bailie comes on as do Reedy and Luca. It's still a very combative and the ball is constantly in transition. A long ball to Lee bounces high and the keeper comes out to the edge of the box to collect it. Lee just gets to the awkwardly bouncing ball first and gently lobs then rounds the stranded keeper to walk the ball into the net on 55⚽. We are back in the lead and extend that lead on 60 ⚽ when a low cross from Reedy is turned into his own net by a 'U's defender. Ooops 🤣.   3-1 to the Dockers with 30 to play. The 'U's dominate towards the end of the half again and get a goal back when Bussy saves only for the ball to drop to a 'U's striker who pokes it home. 3-2. The pressure continues. Lee is replaced by another No. 9 that we don't recognise.  He has a great chance, beats the off-site trap and the keeper but his shot goes just wide. The 'U's don't get an equaliser and it's 3-2 to the Dockers.

It's great to be back at the footie again and what a way to start with win against a side 2 leagues above. The 'U's were so serious that they spent half time on the pitch training and exercising. No orange segments for them🍊. There were a good number of new faces and tons of subs for the Dockers as the game went on but the performance didn't seem to drop off badly like it often did last season. Maybe it's the fresh faces or possibly that the 'U's dropped off equally. It did look like Billy was subbed off for Reedy on the left and later Reedy was in midfield and Billy was back on at right back. It's was a surprise that Warwick wasn't a big miss as it might have been. Hope this is a good sign of more depth in the squad and a more consistent season lies ahead🤞🏻. Ian Robinson was back but working with the coaching team until he is well enough to play again. Can't wait for our favourite speedy winger to return. In other news, Dougie is back at Bognor so we'll have to plan a trip to Camp Nye soon.

POTM: Goes to new boy Tom Vickers 🏅 for the great charge form back to front to earn the pen the n take it himself.

The Scran'o'meter gave the cheesy chips 8/10 and the hot chocolate 7/10. Could be stronger but Ian in the kitchen did well as a stand in.

We are very disappointed to announce that the ferry was late 😠. It strolled into the dock at 9.15. 1/10. We will be certain to take that up with our new Lib Dem MP. That would new have happened under the Tories 🤮.

See you at Carrow Road for the Lionesses 🦁.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Leading at Fort Road

Going the long way round 

Arriving at Fort Road

The Ferry