Tranmerekat on Tour: The Parson's Tale

Newhaven FC V Canterbury City FC in the FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round Replay at Culver Road

The Dockers ⚓ gave away the lead at Sittingbourne to bring City ⛪ down to the South Coast for a replay. Fort Road is still getting it's shiny new pitch so we are at the Sussex FA head quarters at Lancing.

We are only 1080 footballing minutes from the hallowed turf of Prenton Park South (AKA Wembley). The sides drew with a goal each on Saturday so it could be tight here. Here we go again. No penalties please, it's a school night after all.

It didn't take long for Newhaven to get in to their stride and Alfie found the net after just 5 minutes ⚽. Lukas doubled the lead on 14 minutes ⚽. It was looking good for the Dockers. But which way would the important third goal go?

A massive 14 minutes we had to wait before Tom Underwood ⚽ made it 3 to practically settle it for the hosts. Further goals on 34 ⚽, Max, 36 ⚽, Robbo, and 45+1 ⚽, Lukas, saw the Dockers go in 6-0 up at the break. Bet the team talks were a bit different.

It could have all turned on 52 minutes when new Docker Don Street, having just come on, was given a straight red (lucky to not get a Police Caution 🚓) for flying in to a tackle too high and completely out of control. Early bath for you. And don't use all the hot water in the showers, costs a fortune to heat it these days cost of living crisis and all that.

The visitors hoped to use their numerical (or should we be saying arithmetical) advantage to get back into the tie. They must have forgotten to tell Alfie and he scored 2 minutes later ⚽. Lee added another on the hour ⚽ and Marcin made it 9 on 68 ⚽. It was then a bit of a competition to score a worldie with the top corner getting a few near misses. Robbo made it a nice round 10 and got his hattrick with 5 minutes to go ⚽. Phew. What a performance that was. Couldn't be more different to the one at Steyning. Expected it to go a bit flat in the second half but maybe the sending off fired them up again. Absolutely ruthless from the Dockers tonight. The highest scoring FA Cup replay since 1960.⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽

POTM: Hard to call but goes to Jake 'Bussy but not busy' Buss for staying awake for the first 85 minutes before making a vital save to keep a clean sheet.

Scranometer registered an 8 in Xg as they do a nice veggie burger 🍔 here but actually only scored a 5 for the chips 🍟 as veggie burgers are out of stock. Are you BHAFC in disguise?

Ref did fairly we'll. Have seen him before and he was good then too. Lino on our side disallowed what would have been goal number five for off-side despite it being a square pass 🤡. He then allowed the actual 5th goal despite it being an obvious off-side 🤡. Just fixing his mistake but was very grumpy about it 😡. Probably a secret Brexiteer.

Countdown is now 990 minutes of football to Wembley. Can almost smell the silver polish on the trophy.

See you soon, hopefully at Uckfield

Love Tranmerekat 🐾