If you're Aggie and you know it

England Women host Portugal Women in the Nations League Group Stage at Wembley Stadium

The Lionesses 🦁 host the Navigators 🧭 at Prenton Park South. Let’s hope the Navi’s lose their way tonight. It’s matchday 5. These 2 met on match day 1 back in February when they played out a draw in Portimao . We have beaten Spain since then but a win and a loss against Belgium leaves us 2nd in the group behind Spain. England need to win tonight to stay within touching distance of the semi-finals. That loss away to Belgium could prove costly. Spain are building form as Portugal and Belgium are dropping away. The Lionesses also need to start building some momentum going into the Euros. There is some good news on the team front. LJ, Georgia and Alex are back from long term injuries. Hempo gets a start but the others are on the bench. The biggest news (shocking even) is that Mary Queen of Stops, announced on Tuesday that she was retiring from international football with immediate effect. The news shocked everyone including Serena who now has a squad of only 26 instead of 27 tonight. Millie has also dropped out to allow her long term recovery. Take care Millie. Hope to see the fully functioning Milliedozer back soon. She is replaced in the squad by Lotte. Lessi is also missing due to an injury picked up as Arsenal beat Barcelona 🤣 in the Champions League Final 🏆 in Lisbon last Saturday. Ella Toone has also dropped out due to an injury sustained in the football 7’s at the weekend. She missed the final which they lost to Bayern Munich. Not sure if her injury was sustained in the football or the pre-match “displays”.  So the 27 squad is down to 23 for this fixture. Hoping that Tooni and Lessi are back for Tuesday. Inevitably, Hannah is in goal.  Leah and Esma Morgan are central with Lucy and Jess Carter are out wide. Kiera, Grace and Jess Park are the 6, 8 and 10. Up front are Beth, Aggie and Hempo. Brighton duo Nikita and Fran are on the bench as is loanee Michelle. Hope we see all of them later. Ex-Seagull and midfielder Tatina Pinto starts for the Navigators. The Navigators have never beaten the Lionesses.  Long may that continue. It’s nearly time to start. There are fireworks and wheelie bins of fire. We hold up our to make the St Georges flag for the national anthem. We clap the players as they take the knee then we are underway. The cards are quickly rolled into clackers to make some noise.  Come on Inglund

The Lionesses are aggressive from the kick-off. They press high. Jess Park ‘liberates’ the ball and Aggie shoots across Pereira to score in the 3rd minute ⚽. 1-0. Take that. We have barely stopped cheering when Hemp gets clear down the left. The ball is scuffed by Aggie but Beth’s shot bounces up and Lucy is on hand to head it in ⚽. Five minutes gone and 2-0. The third goal is going to be a big one.  Jess C and Hempo are causing havoc down the left . Serena has found a good combo there. Portugal finally get a chance but it skims off the outside of the post after a corner. We haven't seen much of Serena. She pops out every now and then. Working on a pint at the bar? It calms down a bit now but England are still fully in control. A Lucy Bronze cross finds the head of Aggie and it’s 3-0 on 26 ⚽. Portugal are struggling to defend and England have their tails up. It’s Beffy’s turn to score as she pickpockets the defence and slots it home on 29 ⚽. It’s done now. England ruthless and Portugal helpless. Aggie’s first Wembley start results in a first half hat trick as she makes it 5-0 on 33 ⚽ with some great play after a long ball from Leah. We are excited and exhausted. The Lionesses have been devastating. It’s so close to 6 as Beth puts in a great cross but Lauren launches herself at it but doesn’t quite reach it. It’s Lauren who now turns provider as she puts in a great cross but Grace can’t quite get to it. Into 3 minutes of added time. Enough for another goal or 2. Portugal get a sniff of a chance but it’s still 5-0 at the break.  Aaaand breath.

Are we are going to see Serena make some early changes to rest legs or will she stick to the usual plan and make the changes at the hour mark? It looks like the latter as the starting 11 come out for the restart. Hope we will see more ruthlessness (and goals) but are expecting Portugal to be a bit more organised now. It turns into a more even game as the Navigators finally discover some composure. There are chances at both ends before the changes start. Lucy, Lauren and Esme make way for Maya, Chloe and Alex. It’s all like for like with Maya back in her old Brighton job of right back. Alex’s left foot will help with long balls out to the right. We don't see why but Chloe seems to fall out with the Portuguese no 21 Ana Capeta. It’s not going to end well. Portugal in a rare foray forward and earn a free kick about 30 yards out. She goes for goal but it goes just over. Alex’s left foot pays off with a long pass to Beth. Chloe heads home from the resulting cross on 62 ⚽. 6-0. Chloe loves a goal at Wembley apparently 👕🏃. There are more changes on 67 as Super Fran Kirby replaces Jess Park who has had a fantastic game in the 10. We nearly get a 7th but Alex hits the bar and Chloe can’t head the rebound on target. There are big cheers on 75 as Georgia is welcomed back to replace Kiera who has also had a good game. The changes have taken the fluidity out of the Lionesses but it will be some good minutes for the returning players. We get just one more chance. Beth and Aggie are involved. Two starters still full of energy and creativity. Only a good save prevents Aggie’s 4th and England’s 7th. There are only 3 added minutes but the scoreboard clock stops at 90 for some reason. It’s soon over and the Lionesses have sealed 3 back to back home wins in the Nations League scoring 12 goals and conceding zero. It’s time for Sweet Caroline as we head for Wembley Park and the Metropolitan line.

Wow. What a performance and result. We've not seen the Lionesses perform like that for a while and never at Wembley. Really needed that. Us and them. Unbeaten at home since that awful Germany game. Everyone played well and worked really well together. The changes disrupted things a little but Serena will have learnt a lot from that. We wanted a Norway style 8-0 but there are big names missing and she quite doesn’t have the super-subs option that she would like. Grace was the least fantastic but charging the defence with the ball at her feet was maybe her assigned role although she did keep running into roadblocks. No moaning though. Fantastic team performance. It was, in reality, all over in 5 minutes. Done and dusted in 30. And a first half hat trick for Aggie was something special to watch. Serena may have lost her headache over her choice of goalkeeper but she now has serious competition for the no. 9. Nice problem to have. She will be pleased to have Alex and Georgia back and Hempo straight back in and on fire. The crowd was about as expected tonight at 48531 which is a little over half full but that seems normal for a Friday evening. It’s time for a summer break now after what has been a mixed season. There have been good times and not so good but it’s ended on a bit of a high. Time for some R’n’R now before the Rover coaster starts it’s journey all over again.

POTM: can only go to one player and it’s the first half hat trick hero, Agatha Beever-Jones ⚽⚽⚽.

The ref and officials did well, kept it flowing and the players safe. Thanks

Basil watch: We were early so no sign outside the stadium. Saw him at a distance inside but couldn’t find him for a selfie.

The Scran’O’meter loves the Victoria Station Spoons and gave the BBQ burger 🍔 a 7/10. We’ve also got the hang of bottle tops here as we took an empty bottle in with the lid hidden under my hat.

See you next season.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Fire and Smoke

Heading for the Arch

A win at Wembley

(Your Lard Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher

Horsham FC play Littlehampton Town FC in the Sussex Chalenge Cup Final at the AMEX Stadium

One last outing to the AMEX this season for the Sussex Senior Cup🏆 . It’s the Hornets 🐝 again. This time their opponents are the Marigolds 🧤. We’re in the south end of the West Stand with the Lardy Army 🧈 supporting the Hornets who have just been crowned 👑 the Isthmian Champions 🏅. Up to the NLS for them next season. They are also the holders so looking to retain the cup tonight. The Marigolds (I’m glovin’ it) finished 18th in the Isthmian South East after an unremarkable season leaving them 40 places below the high flying Hornets. We haven’t seen the Hornets this season but remember some of the players. We also recognise Ole O from Lewes who moved as part of a recruitment raid on the Rooks by Horsham last summer. No Dougie this year as he has gone back to Bognor. Some season he has had, leaving the Hornets who get promoted ⬆, to join the Rocks who got relegated ⬇. Coincidence? Or is he still on the Hornet's payroll to sink their rivals. Probably not, he hasn’t played much and isn’t that influential on the pitch these days. There are no fireworks or taking the knee tonight. There are lots of photos as it’s a big occasion for non-league players. Let’s get going as it’s 5 minutes late for kick-off already. Blood and guts non-league football incoming. Hopefully 🙏🏼.

The Hornets are on the front foot and put the ball in the net in the 3rd minute. It’s disallowed for off-side to zero protest. There follows lots of scruffy football with the Hornets trying to play their passing game and the Golds trying to play long. Most notable event of the half is the Gold keeper collapsing in pain and having to be replaced. It’s level at the break. 

The Hornets looked a little leggy or maybe hungover from the league win in the first half. Need to step it up now. They do for a while and get a series of corners. It’s the Gold who look the most up for it though and their tackling becomes even more spirited.  The Golds keeper looks to be injured as he sits down, Zinsberger style. Are we going to see another keeper change? He recovers and we start. Wonder who would have gone in goal? The Golds have their tails up and look full of energy. They need to be careful of the outlets for that energy as their rate of bookings goes up as well. The ref is filling up his little black book but is being mostly fair with it. Although he does miss a big 2 footed tackle on one of the Hornets. They are applying all the pressure as we go into 6 minutes of injury time. The Gold fans have started to make themselves heard but it’s limited to “Your support is effin shit” (which it most certainly isn’t) and “we hate Horsham” although they play in a different league. Weird, predictable and boring. The Lardy army haven’t stopped singing with old favorites like “Start spreading the lard” and “The Yellow and the Green” despite looking second favorites to win it from here. The Hornets break out of the Golds press but are stopped by a challenge within sight of the Golds goal. Into the last minute as Hammo steps up to take the free kick. He hasn’t scored from a direct free kick all season but no-one will remember that because he sticks this one in the top corner ⚽ with just seconds left on the clock. Unbelievable scenes in the Lardy end. It’s still chaos in the stand as the whistle goes straight after the restart . Some last gasp win for the Yellow and Green.

Wow. That’s 3 big wins for us in 6 days. The Hornets retain the Cup 🏆. Littlehampton must be broken 😭 to lose that so late on. They looked most likely to score as the clock ticked down but a free kick shattered their dreams with almost the last kick. Made up for the Lardy Army who have got behind the Yellow and Green for the whole game. We could hear them still singing in the ground from the Bridge car park. The Hornets looked slightly off the boil tonight. Too much celebration after their promotion or a bit of complacency from the holders. Makes no difference now. The Golds were certainly up for it and a little bit too committed in some of the tackling. They tried to apply some level of dark arts but were fortunately beaten by a side focused on quality football. We are made up for the Hornets. They have been building to this for years and to do the double is amazing for them. The Lardy army certainly played their role in the season and tonight. Hope the Hornets are back next year to beat another opponent. This is the last of 4 visits to the AMEX this season. Hope to get to a few more next season. The U23 final was also tonight and Newhaven lost to the all conquering Hassock who have won everything this season. Congrats to the Robins.

POTM: There can only be one winner here. It goes to James ‘hammo’ Hammond for the goal. He won the game with that kick. Congrats. That won’t be forgotten for a while. 

The officials had a mixed night. Missed a few fouls and offsides. It was certainly busy for them and they managed to upset both sets of fans. Ref will need to add some pages to his little black book after that. 

The Scran’O’meter downgraded the Veggie pie 🥧 from 9/10 to 8/10 due to the temperature or lack of. Bottle tops were removed as usual for fortress AMEX.

That's it for men's football now. See you in Birmingham for the last game of the WSL season.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

AMEX under the lights

Winners again

Let's Sway Together

Tranmere Rovers face Newport County In EFL 2 at Rodney Parade

The White's last game of the season is away to the Exiles. Hoping we get a welcome that’s as warm as the Welsh weather. The Rovers finally secured their place in the Football league next season with a win against Crewe last Saturday. Been a while since the Kop has seen scenes like that as it was bouncing for 90 minutes with white smoke at the end ushering Andy Crosby as the new Pope. Prenton Park is our church after all. A win today would move us away from the relegation zone and give history a very different view of how close we came to going over the cliff edge. Today we can climb to a heady 20th or 88th in old money. That needs Accrington to lose which is something we always like to see. We're certainly up for it today, hope the players are too. The team is the same as Andy has settled on with LOC ,Tom and Jordan as a back 3. Sam Taylor makes a rare appearance but it’s nice to see him as wing back opposite Cameron Norman. Jake Garrett gets a start alongside Merrie in the middle. The front 3 are Dennis, Morris and Patrick. No idea what music they are playing at Rodney Parade, maybe they need to invest in a better sound system. It’s a dead rubber game with both teams safe but both are also hurting after poor seasons. It could be really flat as the players' minds start to head for the beach but we remain hopeful that the boys want to go out on a high after last week's euphoria.

There is no taking the knee here or fancy fireworks here. Straight into the football. The Exiles get in the first shot in but Luke saves it from range. The football is not great. It’s scrappy and broken up with a few half chances either way. Neither set of fans is generating much noise. The first decent chance comes on 23 as Newport score from outside the box through a host of bodies. Not what we want but we don't rollover these days. There is a tussle between Cameron Norman and the Exiles no. 14 Kai Whitmore on 27. Cameron ends up on the floor and Whitmore stamps on him. The ref is the wrong side to see it and so gives a yellow card. The fans are warming up a bit. And some, it’s sweltering in the stands 🥵. The SWA are in good voice and the Exiles chipping in now and then. The Lino on the far side is missing some howlers of offsides. Tranmere's first decent chance comes from Sam Taylor but it’s high and wide. Lee O’Connor is marking their striker Kyle Hutlin. It is comical as Lee is getting the best of the ball, even in the air, despite being 5’9” to the Exiles 6’ 9”. The Rovers equalise on 41 ⚽ as Jake Garrett's speculative long range shot is deflected and loops over the keeper. The SWA can smell blood and are bouncing behind the goal. The Whites are pushing for a second but it’s still level at the break. Time to cool off in the shade 😎.

There’s a change for the Rovers at the break as Josh Davison replaces Sam Taylor. It’s all Tranmere now. Morris sees his shot blocked. We finally take the lead on 51 as Kristian Dennis ⚽ volleys in from a Norman cross. It’s a great shot. 1-2 to the Rovers. The Tequila 🍸 is flowing in the away end.  Dennis is replaced by Harvey Saunders on 63. That injects some energy 🏃‍♂️. The Exiles No. 14 poleaxes Jake Garrett on 66. It’s an easy second yellow and off he goes. Bye👋. Saunders has an impact as he sets up Omari Patrick to score from just outside the box on 70 ⚽. Josh Davison has to drag him across to celebrate with the SWA. Newport can’t cope with the Rovers attacks. Their fans start to stream out of the ground. “Is this a fire drill?” echoes round Rodney Parade. Wood comes on to replace Omari on the left. He starts to get some great crosses in. There are more changes on 77 as Josh Hawkes replaces Cameron on the right and Connor Jenning replaces Garrett in the middle. There is an immediate impact as Josh Hawkes sets up Josh Davison who blasts into the bottom corner on 78 ⚽. The SWA have shown great restraint, waiting until we’re 3 goals clear to start singing “We’re winning away” . Very sensible 👍. The Exiles Kyle Hudlin is subbed off on 81. It’s a shame as we were enjoying watching Lee humiliating him. It’s all Tranmere as we try to inspire Kieron Morris to score with his new song, “When the Tranmere rhythm starts to play…”, as he runs past us down the wing. The crowd are baying for more, singing “We want 5”. The fifth doesn’t come and it’s still 1-4 at 90+6. That’ll do. The home end is already empty but there is no-one leaving the away end. it’s bouncing as the players come over. There are a few lucky recipients of shirts and gloves. Andy Crosby is the last to leave the pitch to huge applause. Love him.

That was fantastic. What a day out and what a performance from the Whites. They never looked out of it at a goal down and the equaliser kicked off a momentum that never stopped. Not sure that Newport got another decent shot after the goal. Losing a player can’t have helped, ha-ha, but he was lucky to be on the pitch that long as he was as the first yellow should have been a red for stamping on Norman right in front of us. Today was very different from the football played under Adkins. Who knew that this team of players could actually play this well. Unbelievable Jeff. The SWA were awesome today too. There were a lot of empty seats but people probably migrated to the stand behind the goal to sing with their mates. The count is in. There were 811 in the away end out of a total of 5,465. That’s a fantastic turn out with nothing at stake at "not the best" of awaydays venues. The home end emptied long before the away end had finished singing. It’s new to us but we are loving Sway the Tranmere way. “When the Tranmere rhythm starts to play….” The subs worked well today. Well, as much as we love Harvey Saunders for his energy and endeavour, he isn’t the best with the ball at his feet. But he did play his part today running the backline ragged and getting an assist to boot. There will be a few in this group that we won’t see again. Connor Jennings must number amongst them. He has been a great servant to the club, twice, and a shining light in dark times. Hopefully they can find room for him next season. There are a few more that we would like to see again including Omari, Dennis LOC and Merrie. There are also a few (and some) that we would happily pay for a taxi to come and collect. The news from elsewhere is that Accrington lost 🎉 so we moved up 2 places to 20th 📈. Deceptively clear of the trap door. So it’s goodbye to the 24/25 season in League 2. Definitely one to be filed away as “Don’t go there again”. Will Andy Crosby be with us next season? We hope so if he’s not too busy being Pope. And then there's the impending takeover to come. Fingers crossed 🤞.  Will the new shirt sponsor be Fenty or maybe Rihanna be designing the 3rd shirt. It’s not going to get dull in the world of Tranmere any time soon!

POTM: goes to Cameron ‘Storming’ Norman,🏅 creating loads of space and putting in loads of great crosses including 2 assists. Well done.

The officials were generally OK. The ref couldn’t have seen the stamp on Cameron so was never going to give a red. He did the right thing and the yellow got the job done in the end. The lino at our end must have forgotten his contacts as he couldn't see the Exiles players even if they were yards offside. Useless. Can’t remember any offsides at all so maybe the one at the other end was no better. Or they were waiting for VAR to do their jobs for them. Mike Dean was spotted in the ground so maybe it’s the league 2 VAR pilot.

The Scran’O’meter has decided that the yummy Greggs was out of scope so is unable to comment on the catering today. Except to moan about the bottle top police who confiscated the bottle of water that we took to Stamford Bridge last week and have taken to Wembley a few times. Bastards. Bottle in the ground had the tops removed. Good job we had some spares. 🤣

See you at Crawley.

Love Tranmerekat 🐾

Sunshine in Wales

Downing St, no thanks, Newhaven please

Fast train to Wales

Rodney Parade